Many women share that they get depressed scrolling through Instagram or Facebook because it seems as if everyone is enjoying life except them. They catch themselves wishing they could be happier, thinner, richer, or prettier. The good news is that comparisons are usually based more on opinion than fact. There will always be someone better than us and the sooner we recognize it the better.
Comparing yourself to others can drag you down and weaken your self-confidence. Successful women are aware of this power drain and have learned to recognize the triggers that spike these feelings of insecurity.
Dawn, a successful business owner shared that she constantly compared herself to others and knew deep down these comparisons were making her feel inferior. “One thing I started doing was to become more self-aware when I was playing the comparison game. Social media was a killer for me, especially during the holidays when everyone seemed their world was perfect. It was difficult but I knew to keep off Facebook and be self-aware during those times."
Self-awareness is vital if women are ever going to get ahead in life. We need to stop thinking we are not good enough. Toni, an executive assistant shared she was feeling bad over being jealous of others more fortunate than her. “I had to remind myself that what people are showing on the outside is not always the true reality. For example, I’ve been secretly jealous of a coworker for years. She seemed to have it all, a beautiful family, a gorgeous husband, and a spectacular house overlooking the Pacific Ocean. I was shocked when I learned that her kid was caught shoplifting, and her husband's business was going bankrupt. That was a real eye-opener. I wasn’t happy when I heard about her problems, but it made me aware that I shouldn’t base my happiness on a comparison of someone else’s life.”
And we all know that money doesn’t increase one’s happiness. But gratitude can. Many women share they commit to being grateful for all the good things in their life to strengthen their confidence. Gratitude thinking helps them become less vulnerable to comparison envy. So, when someone or something gets in your face that triggers jealousy, stop and think about all that’s good in your life right now.
But there is a good side to this issue. If you’ve read anything about social comparison theory you know that sometimes comparing yourself to those you admire isn’t all that bad. That’s how we gain our identity, by comparing ourselves to others. So, if you wish you could be more like your successful boss who is liked by everyone, full of charisma and oozing with personal confidence then ask yourself what you could do to be more like her!
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