Updated: Feb 6, 2021
Many psychologists believe that if you can change your thinking you can change your life. Wouldn’t that be nice? Ever wonder how easy it is for negative thoughts to keep entering our minds? The big question is how to destroy these thoughts before they destroy your self-esteem and prevent you from maximizing your potential as a woman.
We are constantly surrounded by negativity in the news, on television, on social media, and let’s not forget the people in our daily lives. So how do you get rid of these pesky invasions on our brain before they take residence and become reality?
Unfortunately, while many self-help books urge people to replace their negative thoughts with positive thoughts, the majority of psychologists report that method doesn’t work. So, what does work? The first step is to become aware of the thought and try to figure out what is causing it.
Cara, a social worker said she suffered from insomnia for years, not able to fall asleep or worse yet wake up at two in the morning. “I couldn’t stop these negative thoughts from ruminating around in my head. My presentation will be a disaster, what if my dog gets loose when I’m at work, why doesn’t my boss like me? You name it, I always think of something bad to worry about. Interesting though, it doesn’t happen much during the day, just when I’m ready for bed.”
Acknowledging the thoughts and then challenging them is a productive method that works in most cases. For example, in the case of Cara’s fear that her boss doesn’t like her she could examine why she is thinking that way. She could confront the fear, in this case standing up to a ‘boss’ who she perceives doesn’t like her. Why don’t you like me? I am one of the best employees in my department. Why even last week, you complimented me in front of the whole team.
The problem is not that we have negative thoughts, they are perfectly normal. The problem is that we let these thoughts get a grip on us and end up believing they are true.